a step closer.

Habits are almost permanent. Getting used to something may be challenging, but getting rid of something that you have become comfortable with is difficult. Take a moment to think about your habits. Habits can range from chewing your nails to talking with a certain person everyday. Whatever habit it is, either way, it’s hard to stop.

This person I have known for three years. At least for a year, we talked daily and without at least ten minutes of our daily talk, my day didn’t seem complete. It was like an everyday routine to talk to this certain person. Daily, I had to tell him about my day and know about his day. Always a casual conversation, but it always gave me a sign that I accomplished another day of my life. Soon, I realized I had a habit of talking to him everyday or running to him everytime something occurred. More than my reliance on him, it was a habit that made me comfortable talking to him; moreover, alleviated, I’d say. Talking to this guy was necessary as brushing my teeth everyday was necessary. Yet, as we grew up, we were too busy to talk everyday like we did in middle school. Our daily conversations slowly faded away, but it still brought emptiness in my life. It didn’t immensely impact my life, but it’s just this feeling that something I need in life was gone. The scariest thing is that, still after three years, I frequently talk to him when I come around problems and issues in my life. I thought my habit had faded away since I moved to Korea, but scary enough, it hasn’t. More than the physical habits, the mental habits really seem to be unbreakable. Our brains and emotions seem less flexible than our muscles. I still wonder if I’ll ever overcome this habit, but I don’t believe that it’s a negative one. I think I’ll get rid of this habit when my brain finds another habit similar to it. Nonetheless, habits seem to be like a scar that never goes away completely, always leaving at least a mark behind.