Summer is running away. It’s going by two fast. In fact, it’ll be over in two weeks- what a tragic fact. 

wishing it was endless.

Habits are almost permanent. Getting used to something may be challenging, but getting rid of something that you have become comfortable with is difficult. Take a moment to think about your habits. Habits can range from chewing your nails to talking with a certain person everyday. Whatever habit it is, either way, it’s hard to stop.

This person I have known for three years. At least for a year, we talked daily and without at least ten minutes of our daily talk, my day didn’t seem complete. It was like an everyday routine to talk to this certain person. Daily, I had to tell him about my day and know about his day. Always a casual conversation, but it always gave me a sign that I accomplished another day of my life. Soon, I realized I had a habit of talking to him everyday or running to him everytime something occurred. More than my reliance on him, it was a habit that made me comfortable talking to him; moreover, alleviated, I’d say. Talking to this guy was necessary as brushing my teeth everyday was necessary. Yet, as we grew up, we were too busy to talk everyday like we did in middle school. Our daily conversations slowly faded away, but it still brought emptiness in my life. It didn’t immensely impact my life, but it’s just this feeling that something I need in life was gone. The scariest thing is that, still after three years, I frequently talk to him when I come around problems and issues in my life. I thought my habit had faded away since I moved to Korea, but scary enough, it hasn’t. More than the physical habits, the mental habits really seem to be unbreakable. Our brains and emotions seem less flexible than our muscles. I still wonder if I’ll ever overcome this habit, but I don’t believe that it’s a negative one. I think I’ll get rid of this habit when my brain finds another habit similar to it. Nonetheless, habits seem to be like a scar that never goes away completely, always leaving at least a mark behind.

[x] English Final Project

[x] Asian Studies Final Project

[x] Asian Studies Oral Interview

[x] SAT2 World History

[x] AP World History Final Paper

[x] Chemistry Final Exam

[x] Math Final Exam

[x] Spanish Final Exam

Let me get through this hard core journey I was put on. It’s the only path that leads to summer, right around the corner. I cross my fingers and close my eyes, wishing it’ll go by fast with little pain as possible.

ALL FINISHED!

Out of the numerous events going on in my hectic life right now, an MUN conference reserved itself a spot. For the past three school days, I’ve been at Indianhead International School, participating in the MUN conference. It was only my second conference, yet meaningful.

The conference was minimal with only three different schools participating and mostly the Indianhead students. This time, I had to step up from the unnoticed role I played in SEOMUN to a main submitter, meaning writing a resolution to be debated on. Unfortunately, due to the numerous and overwhelming imovies and such tasks, it was difficult to squeeze in the time to write the resolution until the very last minute. It was only two days before the lobbying time that I commenced my resolution. I thought to myself,” I can’t do this.” Nonetheless, something in my mind kept me going leading into my very first resolution. Frankly, it wasn’t as great as the ones I’ve seen before; moreover, it seemed like a trainwreck. I had to bug Jessica to help me out and skype me about my mistakes and possible improvements. It was total mess. There seemed to be no hope for this resolution to pass, but I had to carry it with me to Indianhead searching for co-submitters.

Let’s say the first impression of my committee was plainly cold and ignorant about the visitors. They were amongst their own classmates signing each others resolutions. Other KIS delegates and I were out of the searching. Inside, I was screaming,” Hello?!?!” Too bad I couldn’t say anything, I just thought I should be quiet in a foreign school. However, I needed at least six co-submitters in order for my resolutions to pass, I mean I did put a lot of effort into this messy resolution. I had to put a smile on my face and go up to the IIS students, one by one asking them to be my co-submitter. Fortunately, I had exactly six of them, whew, that was a alleviation. But oh no, what’s coming was even more terrifying.

On the day my resolution had to be debated on, that very morning, I realized minimal errors. I felt humiliated and wanted to hide under a rock. Too bad my resolution was the first one that morning and I was trapped in a hot room full of delegates dressed in black and white. To my nerve wrecked mind, they looked like penguins.

“Can the delegate of France approach the podium and read the resolution,” the Chair demanded. Yes, the delegate of France was me. I walked up slowly acting like I was confident, but I felt like my nerves were divulged to the whole committee. “Be calm Yura, be calm,” I had to repeat in my head. I couldn’t do anything, but read the resolution I had written. I commenced one by one, trying my hardest to keep myself together. Luckily, I managed to speak clearly, but the luck failed by the last page. THE NUMBERING WAS WRONG… that I couldn’t even read my own resolution. I hesitated for a second, which seemed like a minute in what to do. This was the resolution: KEEP ON GOING, so I did. Finally, I was done reading the two pages of my typo-filled resolution. My hand was still shaking and I didn’t remember a thing I said or saw when I was up at the podium.

I came back and seated myself into my seat. My nerves wouldn’t shake off, it was like glued to my body. As the conference continued, my resolution was debated on. Many delegates attacked various parts of my resolution, but I managed to give them an answer to their doubts. Without a notice, the glue had lost its stickiness and left my body. Surprisingly, I felt confident enough to defend my resolution. I had various people support me and defend my resolution. They were amazing and felt like the sun that melted away the cold ice thrown at my resolution by some delegates. After 40 minutes of debate, it was the time for voting. I highly doubted it’ll pass. It had too many flaws, the flaws that divulged my inexperienced self. Miraculously, it passed. I was surprised, but glad that I took my time to write this resolution because if I hadn’t I would have never learned how to enhance a resolution. I’m still a fledgling, but my experience has taught me one of the infinite lessons.

two more weeks. no sunshine. where’s the sun? when’s summer? shorts and flipflpos. breathe breathe. tired. 4 A.M. lack of sleep. stacy is funny. too much to do. can’t think. i really like this song. scar tissue. iis mun today. resolution’s not good enough. will it even have any chance of passing? i put effort in it. my nose is stuffy. human rights. ap world history. finals. imovie. this weekend isn’t a weekend. facebook is boring. today is hat day. why don’t i have a hat? give me a stamp. my usb stick doesn’t work. ugh, i need to return it. i am not hungry. why did i eat so much yesterday? dunkin donuts= fattening. fly away. happy prince. crazy. hippie last night. oh my gawsh. text me right now. no no no no. what no? math grade. pull up my grades. let’s be happy. i never loved nobody fully. regina spektor love- lovely. m.i.a- paper planes. i feel dead. am i dreaming? dabin is working hard. i need to step up my game. be diligent. can’t wait to get the yearbook today. it’s gonna be so heavy to carry. how long will it take to iis? i feel like something is clogged in my chest. i want soda to digest all these emotions. i don’t even know what i’m thinking. i feel full of thoughts. i wanna digest my thoughts into action. what to do, what to do? gmail is better than hotmail. is this even

stream of consciousness?

just let me sleep. my eyelids close. my brain spins. i’m in school. find the sunshine in this gloomy weather.

???

sneeze coming through,

Image from Flickr

The PGC concert was enjoyable. Under ground dark club. The lights in every color, and the volume turned on to the maximum. No AC. It was hot and everyone was sweating from jumping around and singing along. Let’s say it’s a time that the student were surprised by the teachers’ talents in music and visaversa. It was a bonding time in the darkness, but coming together with music. Yet, not everything as so sweet.

Going home was a nightmare. Hongdae was terribly crowded by the time we left the concert, 8:30 P.M. It was an army of ants marching and searching for food. I saw no space, but an influx of people. Pushing through to get out, I bumped into many people. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Everyone was too busy trying to get to their destination without caring about other people they were running into or bumping into. It was a time of selfishness, and I wished I had some independent space. I felt like my space was invaded and conquered. I was literally dying to fly out of the place. It took me and my friends 30 minutes to just get to the nearby subway station. It was a tiring night. The subway station wasn’t in a better condition than the streets. The stairs was filled with people and I couldn’t even watch the steps. People wouldn’t stop coming out. Again, I just had to push through to get on the subway. From there, it took and hour to get to a bus stop. From the bus stop, it took another hour to get home. Terrifying, I know. By the time I got home, I felt like an 80-year old granny with back problems. My body was aching and I felt gruesome covered in everyone’s germs. PGC concert was great, but the location wasn’t too great. It was far far away from home- a long journey.

Picture taken by Lynn Hong

What’s over? AP exams are over! Now, there’s no need to try and cram that one more information into my head here and there. I feel alleviated, maybe too much.

©yj

For the past three days, I’ve been hanging out with my friends and just catching up on the social life I had paused for a while. It was enjoyable to be able to not think about the AP exam while talking and laughing with my friends, no need to whine about the exam. Yet, I’m too tired when I get home to do my homework or study for anything. It’s time for me to get back on track, but my hopes and my body isn’t cooperating. I have to start being diligent, but I wish I can just rest, moreover, that it was summer already. I felt like I accomplished everything when I wrote the last letter on my AP essay. However, it’s only the first AP exam. Now, on my schedule there’s still an SAT2 in June and finals around the corner. Time for me to wake up and break the habits of relaxing and just hanging around.

©yj

What’s more pleasing than having a bite of a frosted cupcake? In Korea, it’s hard to find heavily frosted cupcakes because Koreans prefer less sweetened pastries. Although I’m a Korean as well, I sometimes have a strong crave for something extremely sweet,but something small in size so I don’t get a stomach ache. What’s more perfect than a small cupcake adorned with ample frosting?

Craving for a “American” style cupcake, my friends an I, started a journey in the search of a cupcake store. We went through the busy streets of Apgujung-Dong and the crazy cars on the streets. Turning right and left here and there, going into this street and that street, we finally arrived. Destination found. We didn’t know the bakery’s name, but we just knew how to get there. It wasn’t hard to recognize the store because of its appealing display of cupcakes. After the “oh my gosh” moment, we hopped inside the bakery. It smelled like Magnolia Cafe in the States. It had been a while since I’ve smelt this sweet bakery smell. It felt like home or heaven maybe. As if the smell of sweet cupcakes made us hyped up, we were laughing and dying of ecstasy. There were four different kinds of frosting- chocolate, red velvet, lemon, and raspberry. It was an indecisive moment, but since we were three we found a way out. Each one of us chose a different flavor so that we could try three out of the four different cupcakes. The cupcakes weren’t cheap, but worth it. It was $5 every small cupcake, but every single bite was joy. Pure pleasure. Trust me, at the end of our pleasing eating time, there wasn’t even a crumb left of the small cupcake. Not to mention how we stayed after finishing the cupcake for about 20 minutes just staring at the cupcakes making promises to come back and try other flavors. We were still amazed or glad that we found a “American” style cupcake bakery. Leaving the place was hard, so we all took our phones out capturing the cupcakes- not wanting to say good-bye.

article from Korea Herald

Okay so I am totally aware that I am blog frequently, but you know there’s just a lot going through my head and a lot going on right now. AP test in 16 days and SAT2 following it, plus the final exams. Yes, they are written on my agenda one after the other. It’s just frustrating to think about all the things that has to get done before summer. Why is it that there has to be all these obstacles before happiness? I try and study, but I lose my focus so easily then I come to my blog and write and write. I guess through irritations and too many events going on, I’m finding my hobby. I really think blogging helps me feel better because I’m typing everything out. I know I’ll get through it, but the whole process of getting through it is plain hard. Yes, I know life is tough.. I mean we all learned that when our parents fed us disgusting veggies when we were toddlers. Well, now we learned that there’s good part of that bitter taste in veggies since it’s healthy and now that we’re used to it actually tastes pretty good. I need to get used to having things going on all at once because next year is going to get even busier. I wish I was a freshman again, but then I’d have to repeat the same process. Well I feel better now, so I should probably go start studying if I want to do well on my AP exam in only SIXTEEN DAYS.